Category: Fools

Excellent Horse-Like Lady Executed Because Boyfriend is a Weird, Twisted Friend of Dennis Rodman

Rodman and his little buddy Okay, so maybe Hyon Song-wol wasn’t machine-gunned because her ex, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il is a friend of Dennis Rodman (Korea’s answer to Penn and Teller, I’m thinking), but the fact that she was executed at all (along with a number of other people as well) is simply taking the whole “don’t video yourselves naked” too far. Jesus, why do they put video cameras in cell phones, anyway? The former Chicago Bull, Rodman, being “friends” with the ruler of this horrible country is weird enough (though when you look at him and his piercings, not really, I guess) but to go on TV and defend his little buddy’s culpability in the public execution means Dennis is simply not getting good advice from…well…anybody.

Hong Song-wol was apparently a North Korean pop star, one of her big hits being a ditty that translates to “Excellent Horse-Like Lady.” Here it is. As far as I can tell, it’s about young North Koreans working at a factory that makes cotton t-shirts, known in the country as “food.”

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USS Ranger Floating Museum Plans Scrapped

Last-Ride-2

Retiring USS Ranger to museum status in Fairview, Oregon isn’t going to happen. It’s a shame that one of the most famous and traveled Aircraft Carriers in the world, featured in movies like Top Gun, Flight of the Intruder, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (yea, that was Ranger, playing without complaint, the carrier USS Enterprise) has to be consigned to scrap.

Hey Tom, how about helping the ship out here?Hey, Tom Cruise – Ranger helped make you famous! Can you call somebody? Tens of thousands of retired sailors at some point had her keys. Anybody keep a spare set? She’s a 1950s design, powered by boilers, so there aren’t any nasty nuclear reactors or anything. Chiefs run the Navy, a few retired guys could get together, sneak aboard, and…Don’t even need any officers.

My first novel, Time Flying, is set aboard Ranger. I’ve been on the ship, and a fan of hers since the mid 80s, when I first saw her tied up at NAS North Island.

I mean, it’s not like Washington would miss the money selling Ranger will bring. She cost $160 million 1950s dollars to build. We Americans spent almost $100 million on our President’s family vacation to Africa this summer, so money must not be a problem.

I know looking forward, not backward, is important. But when we have something that has been such a visible part of our culture, war and peace, security and entertainment, why can’t we keep and enjoy it? If USS Ranger isn’t worth saving and using to remember those things worth remembering, what is?

I really admire all those who have worked so hard to make the dream of Ranger as a museum a reality, and appreciate all their hard work. Here’s a great farewell to a wonderful and deserving mission.

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Buzzwords and Charlatans

This is a pretty funny (and right on the money) ad from Adobe.

The interwebs industry is full of buzzword wielding posers and charlatans who  in some cases know just enough to be dangerous, but usually not nearly enough to be in any way effective.

Case in point:

A few months ago, I was talking to a gentleman who had helped his brother (an SEO genius, I was assured) start a company devoted to helping businesses improve their Search Engine Optimization. Setting aside for the moment the discussion about SEO being kind of…over, I nodded politely, hearing this financial dude talk about his little bro who was a friggin’ genius I tell you, and the company he helped the guy start. Amazed that I hadn’t heard of the company (I mean there are probably only, what…a BILLION SEO companies out there, right?) I looked them up on the web and laughed out loud (my wife thought I was watching Modern Family on Hulu again, much to her chagrin, because she doesn’t think that show is funny at all – but how the hell can you not think Modern Family is funny for God’s sake?) because when I hit the website, I saw this SEO company had a PageRank of…

Wait for it…

3.

Yea, three. 3.

Jesus, I just relaunched this blog, have about eight posts on it and it has a PageRank of 3.

Okay, PageRank (named, by the way, for Google co-founder Larry Page, not for “web page”) is the definitive measure of a website’s profile on the web, based on an algorithm that takes into consideration inbound links, relevence to its own keywords, site layout, etc…YouTube‘s homepage has a PageRank of 9.

Here’s a little perspective for you. I picked what sounded like a little radio station in a little market at random to check their PageRank. Froggy 99.9 in Fargo, North Dakota has a PageRank of 4.

That’s 25% higher than the PageRank of this SEO company started by a real genius SEO guru. Really!

Maybe said guru is one of the guys in the Adobe* ad.

* – Adobe’s homepage has a PageRank of 9, by the way.

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